Gabby Noone (@twelveoclocke) Talks About Twitter and Aggressively Glamorous Humor

Gabby Noone is a writer and student based in New York City. She’s a staff writer at Rookie Mag and has contributed to sites such as Buzzfeed, The Hairpin, and The Cut. Noone’s tweets cover topics like pop culture, fashion, and feminism, with her takes often approaching the absurd while at the same time maintaining sincerity. This week Noone told me about three of her favorite tweets, and she talked to me about “aggressively glamorous humor,” what she likes about Yelp, and how she feels when she sees jokes about Netflix and Food Network stars.

FEMINISM: 1.melt down a bar of white chocolate 2.pour & cool in empty deodorant tube 3.take a bite while staring straight into a man's eyes

Noone: I am proud of this tweet because it manages to be an informative DIY tutorial and absurdist political commentary all at once. This is almost two years old, but I think it holds up. It takes you on a real wild ride in less than 140 characters. I wrote this while feeling really weary about the way people ask famous women “Are you a feminist?” and then a bunch of people get mad at her regardless of whether her answer is yes or no. And then there are bunch of followup think pieces like, “What *IS* feminism?” Like, we should all chill for a sec and go listen to the Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie portion of Beyonce’s “Flawless.” Mainstream feminism has excluded so many women for so long, so I understand why some might shy away from identifying with it, but I think all women would agree that my definition here is correct.

Do you have any other favorite styles, like the DIY tutorial, that you like to play with in your tweets?

Sometimes I like riffing off of that like relatable teen tone. Like tweets that are like “Tfw….” but instead followed by a situation that’s really specific and not relatable at all.

Since you mentioned 140 characters – How do you feel about the character limit and how, if at all, does it affect your writing process?

I tend to speak in incomplete sentences and trail off when I’m talking IRL, so Twitter has been good for me. If I can’t make something short enough to be a tweet, that usually means I haven’t thought about it enough.

i was banned from Yelp because some community members were tired of my "scathing feminist critiques" but this isn't the end of me

Wow looks like I’m obsessed with talking about feminism on the Internet! Anyways, Yelp is my favorite website. When I have trouble falling asleep, I will read Yelp reviews of places I never plan on going in faraway towns. The best thing is when you read a juicy Yelp review and then click through the writer’s profile and find out they’ve reviewed like every business they’ve ever frequented. It paints a rich tapestry of a person’s life. This tweet is a lie though because I don’t actually post Yelp reviews because I don’t wanna get too vulnerable in front of strangers. Like any true starlet, I need to keep some things private so I reserve my opinions of restaurants for my close inner circle.

Do you (or did you ever) feel vulnerable when you post stuff on Twitter? Has that changed for you in the time you’ve been on Twitter?

I made my Twitter when I was 15 (!!!) and now I’m 21, so I am sure if I dug deep I’d find some tweets like “h8 everyone but can’t w8 4 to see the new Twilight movie w/ my girlies.” As I’ve gotten older, I think I’ve become more critical about what is a worthy tweet. I’m very much myself on Twitter, but I usually avoid sharing mundane details or complaints about my life because I figure everyone has enough of those already and I should probably just call my mom instead.

❒ Taken.
❒ Single.
✔ Too busy figuring out how to lead a glamorous yet menacing lifestyle on a modest budget to even think about love

I don’t really think of myself as a comedic writer because mostly everything I write is something I thought in earnest that translates as kinda funny to other people. This tweet is honestly how I feel and I’m glad people related to it. I’m over self-deprecation humor that’s like “CAN YOU BE TOO SINGLE??? MY NETFLIX ACCOUNT SAYS YES.” I’m trying to make aggressively glamorous humor a thing.

What’s the most surprised you’ve been at a reaction to any of your tweets?

I wrote this serious tweet about Kim Kardashian and now it is my most popular tweet of all time! I don’t think I’m the first person to make this observation about her, so I’m surprised it got such a response. Maybe it’s the all caps that were so effective. I really hope I meet Kim K one day. I have this elaborate fantasy where we discuss conspiracy theories over large salads at a luxury restaurant.

Are there any other subgenres of humor that you’d like to see become more widespread?

I don’t know about any other subgenres, but I would like to see stronger jokes about Food Network stars. As a society, we need to step up our game in that area. Like, just comparing Guy Fieri to a plate of Ed Hardy scented chili fries is just a hack move nowadays.

Jenny Nelson lives and writes in Brooklyn and works at Funny or Die.

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